I've thought long and hard on whether it's right for me to write about this. With most people, this wouldn't even be up for discussion - with very good reason.

Many of us decide to cut 'perfectly' good people out of our lives because of painful memories brought about by a failed relationship. It's understandable. No reason for you to suffer further than you think you ought to. The decision is yours. But isn't it a shame to lose a good friend? At some point in your life, you do need to be more mature in dealing with relationship and not be bitter about every single relationship that does go wrong. So here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself in deciding to be friends with an EX.

When a couple break up in most cases, either parties see eye-to-eye. One, feels that there is no future. The other, sees you as his/her future. It's never a pretty sight. "'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even" as The Script would sing it. Expectations lead to disappointment. A very unfortunate truth. And the truth is, you cannot expect an individual to feel EXACTLY the way you feel. And that person not feeling the same way about you does not make them a bad person. It happens. In most cases, there is falling out. One of you don't feel the same way anymore. The only thing constant in this world is change. And as whether you accept it or not, it could very well have nothing to do with you. There a lot of things in life you have no control over. And that's okay.

2. Did he/she treat you right?

For the duration of the relationship, did he/she treat you right? Did you feel you had a partner? A friend? Did you feel you belong?

With my first relationship, i didn't really feel 'important'. I demanded what i thought was only appropriate but still was disappointed. It was bad. I don't regret it... don't get me wrong. The relationship made me understand exactly the kind of guy i shouldn't be with. And it was a lesson well learned. But i don't think i would want to remain friends with someone who mistreated  me. So pride aside, did he/she treat you right?

3. Do you want him/her in your life?

It all boils down to this... do you want him/her in your life? No point in staying in touch if you don't want to. Or worse, it doesn't make you feel good. There is no reason the answer has to make sense really. It's all about what you want.

Bottom-line, your heart is more resilient than you think. So let things take it's course and who knows, you might end up having a very good friend that you can rely on in addition to the ones you already have.